District Conference

Today (saturday) was the first day of the first District Conference presided over by the new Mission President! From the talks given, it is apparent that it will be a great conference!

I think that I have been given some arguements where I can interest the right people! I KNOW what I have been prompted, and I know where I want to go! It is not as if I am responsible for giving others access to the joy that I have found, but I need at least to warm "them" before I "warn" them! I just dont want to come across as either too pushy or a religious freak! I get the feeling that some people are not receptive to the fact that they are not entirely in control of their destiny, although they do have their Agency to choose where their eternities end up! I kind of despair when I am told that when you die, that is that! I am confident that we are not here by accident, and that we have some eternal perspective!

It makes me cringe when I persuade a friend to come to Church with me, only to have a zealous member try to convince them that the only exit to the Church is through the Baptismal Font, and then, only after they have married me!

I have not had much success with conversions - the first investigator that I baptized, was active for maybe 3 months before he hit skid row. The second baptism that I managed, was active for maybe a month, before she went completely against the Church. Only my daughter who grew up in the Church is slightly active. She is a boarder at a school some 50 kilometers from her nearest Ward, so she has no way to be active, but I refuse to leave her at home whilst I go to Church! I have been too damaged at my home to leave her with the TV remote! I have been stabbed, robbed and stung nearly to death!

That gives me what a friend calls "the Warm and Fuzzies" - a feeling inside me that I have a task to complete here in mortality. Until I do this, I am kind of immune to death, although some of the aftereffects are not that pleasant! Maybe I am supposed to endure huge problems (some people say "If God loves you, why do you have to battle so much?") but I sense that I need to learn something from my trials - compassion? humility? love for others? - I knew in my coma, and that is why I survived my coma and other huge(?) trials, but I have yet to remember this whilst I am conscious! I started off thinking that this was one or two huge efforts, but I was advised 'Maybe it is a lot of smaller things added together?" When I heard this it immediately made sense to me - again with the "warm and fuzzies" - confirmation that this was/is the truth!

I do feel sometimes that I get insights into what this could be! Maybe I am "unhinged" but I dont get the impression that I am!