Tuesday 24th

Heavens time flies by! I feel that time flies by faster and faster! When you are pre-school, the years between one Christmas or birthday took SO LONG. Approaching 50, my birthday is coming all to fast! It honestly does not feel longer than last year I was at school, and turned the Big 21! Then the long slide into retirement begins as soon as you start your first job! For some of us, this slide was more a jump off of a cliff, since I was retired on ill-health aged 35 or so! Still, since I was 21, I do have the hair to go with my status as a pensioner! It went grey before I left school, and has been getting progressively more and more distinguished ever since!

I really felt that for me to remarry, I need to find a woman who can see beyond the danaged frame that I present,and see what I used to be, and will be again when I get resurrected.

I feel inspired that my spirit inside of me is undamaged, and will be freed from the damaged frame when I pass from this life - not that I am in a hurry to do so! I have been warned that I should not be surprised if I am still damaged in the Eternities, until my disabilities are fixed! The way I see it is, I am required to endure my disabilities until I pass from mortality! I truly have faith that I will have my undamaged spirit released wwhen I die. I fail to see that I will have a body restored to an imperfect frame, then have to be re-constructed! If Someone remakes my body, they are not going to make mistakes - on purpose, just to have to fix them later! That kind of smacks of the Japs when they first started building cars! They had to build in faults so that their products were comparable to UK or USA cars - that kind of supposes that Heavenly Father WILL make mistakes, and I fail to believe that He is falable in any way! I dont think that a fair God will build in faults so that they are corrected later! That is definitely a man made concept.

The one benefit that I can see from how I am, is that a future wife will not have the BC (before crash) Steve to compare to the AD (after damage) me! Kind of a WYSIWYG concept - "what you see is what you get" That I truly believe was Micheles major hangup. She married me when I was at my skinniest, and I was really healthy. I am currently losing some bulk and have gone down at least 3 longs sizes since I was so viciously attacked by bees! That kind of shows me that I can still be given blessings from Heavenly Father! Get nearly killed by angry bees and the blessing is that you can fit into clothing that became too small - years ago! Even my shirts are fitting me more comfortably. They used to ride up out of my longs, but now they stay put!

This weekend is looking promising for me! I have plans to go down to Durban with the lady in my life! I hope that I will get the chance to sit her down and talk about US! I have learned by long experience that if you wait for opportunitiers to present themselves, you could literally wait years - you have to kind of manufacture opportunities! I do get the impression from her that she was not thinking along these lines until I said to her "What if?", but I do get the impression that "No" is not on the table, and that her hangups come from 2 failed marriages! I just need to prove to her that I am not like the other fathers to her children!

I need to convince her that being a Mormon is NOT restricting, but if you avoid the "no-no's" of the Word of Wisdom, you are kind of free to do whatever else you feel inspired to do!

I feel inspired that she will eventually join - and be a great member, and in the meantime I have been sealed, not that this sealing will stand in the Eternities! I need to be sealed again, more for a spouses salvation, than my own! I have long felt that I am expected to baptize a wife, and not to do as many believe, marry an existing member!

A member of the branch presidency tried to tell me that I should marry a member. Trouble with that - all the single female members of the branch, are either way too young for me, or are on the other end of the scale! That supposes that I can meet a suitable member, which is practically impossible in Richards Bay! I feel that I have been inspired to do missionary work and baptise a wife! Suitable women in general are few and far between. Hang on to those you know! I just know that the Branch President feels that I should marry a member, but the female pool is generally rather shallow in Richards Bay - or even in Natal.I also sense that the Branch President would rather see me single than to marry a non-member!

As usual, today is not an example of the absence of Global Warming! It really feels that GW is a complete myth - Something that people get really animated about, but practically GW is apparently from the depletion of the Ozone Layer, from an increase in Carbon Dioxide. If you believe that, the human population contributes to GW by merely breathing! Strange then that if you fly anywhere, there are HUGE tracts of land that are unoccupied - and at the least, is unoccupiable!