I wonder if in future, anyone will remember if I ever lived! I really dont care too much as I am happy to live as I do! I gave the final talk at Sacrament on Sunday, that I was complimented on! I just wonder how many people even remembered some of what I said, past supper?
When I got back to the branch, I was supposed to hometeach a family, but my companion was away at a Young Single Adults convention, searching for a wife! He had been informed that we were teaching after the meetings, so he SHOULD have been there! Still I am happy that he was searching for a suitable spouse in Durban. As I blogged before, there are a number of the Elders Quorum who are also looking! I am not exactly in the same category as most(?) of them, in that I feel that I do not need to search for a Temple Recommend holding member to marry!
This is not really a concern, since I have already been sealed, although there is no way that I will have to live with my ex for an eternity! 5 years before divorce already seemed like an eternity although I have faith that Eternity lasts longer than 5 years! I have reservations that I will be remembered largely for the wrong reasons!
I really want to make my mark NOW. I can see ways where this is possible, even if not entirely practical. Like anything, if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well!
I kind of feel though that my ex (Wicked Witch of the West) is intent on me not being a father to Christine, and that I am barely surviving as Christines father! Bugs me that I gave up seeing Christine last holidays, so that she could go with Michele to Canada, and I will not see Christine until December. It appears that my 25 weeks allowed by the Divorce courts are severaly shortened to 2 - 3 days this year! I think that Michele gives off the impression that she knows better than anyone and deserves ALL of Christines holidays!
I think that the Wailing and Gnashing of teeth on Judgment will come from my ex, who will realise with huge shock what she did by throwing my affections away! Who will she spend eternity with? - assuming that she has the choice - me (not likely, after how she treated me in mortality), the toyboy, or the Fat Leprachaun (not my name given to him)? True, I am technically sealed to her, but she chose another, divorced him and chose another. Tragic thing is she is not going to be sealed to the latest - or at least he has told her that he will never join the Mormon Church!
Yesterday, I was sorting through my Temple Garments and noted that some were marked by strange stains - including dried blood! Where that came from is a complete mystery! I dont remember bleeding recently - or for a long time - but I tend to forget unimportant things! I have found that after massive injection of bee venom, my skin in places appears to be so very thin that the smallest scrape induces an area covered in blood! This is NOT a sign of senior years, as at New Year (just the other day) I was not so suceptible to bleeding!
Still, anything is possible, especially since I learned that I am basically allergic to myself! The bee venom was changed into anti-venoms in my blood! Crazy thing now is that if I get stung again by even one bee, these alti venoms will react in such away that it will be as if several thousand more bees have stung me! I am therefore allergic to my own anti venoms! How is that for a kicker? Still the chances of that happening are kind of remote! I was stung by one bee a number of months back - no effects - then stng by a whole swarm of bees - BIG problem! I could not stand or even focus my eyes and worse still the venom was shutting down my diaphram also, so i could not breathe properly. It was only the timeous arrival of the doctor with his divine bag of drugs that my life was saved! I know that LDS should avoid unnecessary taking of drugs, but I was literally dying - my body was shutting down - fast! As a result I spent 4 days in the ICU unit at the local hospital, since they were really worried about my breathing! I could not make them see that I was brain damaged in 1992, and a residual effect is that I have a spastic diaphram - the muscle that controls breathing! There is NOTHING that anyone can do to reconnect the broken connections - at least no mortal person!
I was watching a history program on DSTV. They are cutting down pine trees that are being killed in their thousands by some bug! Is that natural or what? I can see that by cutting down these infected trees, they are contributing to the myth of Global Warming! Less trees = less CO2 being converted! More CO2 means more heat - or so they say! I have also heard that the "experts" say that 190 million years ago, the CO2 level was 6 times higher than it is now! Why then be concerned about CO2 production now, and what happened to 5/6 of the atmosphere? Maybe - and this is only science according to Steve - the carbon was accumulated and turned into diamonds? How is that for a New Age theory? No-one does not buy diamonds because they could be the result of serious global warming?
It never ceases to amaze and humour me! Today is warm - but not humid - but everyone is moaning about the heat! Literally 3 days ago, the same people were complaining "Its too cold!" Goes to emphasize that you can satisfy some of the people some of the time, but there are always those who are NEVER happy! Either that or they just love the sound of their own voices! Personally, I freely admit that I love the heat, as in the heat my accident damaged muscles dont complain. I noticed on Saturday (the last cold day we had here - for the moment!) where I was sliced last time I had surgery, was not exactly sore, but I could feel that it was not right! I hate the cold and my ex has bloged where she is in Canada at present, and the temperature ranges between -17 and 0 - I kind of assume that this is Celsius, as Farenheight is a mite cooler. 0 degrees celsius is freezing point! I dont really enjoy defrosting the freezer as that is way too cold for me! Maybe I am strange (funny - unusual - not funny - ha ha!) but then I freely admit to seeing a headshrink every week. A woman at church commented that this headshrink is very attractive, so maybe this is why I see her so often! I would like eventually to see her every morning as I awake, not just 2 - 3 times a month - or every week!
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