Feminine side? - my foot

I have been assigned to purchase a gift for the mothers in the local Branch of the LDS Church - Mormons!This is because the Branch President will not be there, and my EQ President (next most senior person in the Branch) is serving a mission in Johannesburg. That leaves me as his Counsellor as the next most senior person there!

I was awoken very early yesterday with an idea (inspiration?) of buying the mothers in the branch a gift of a hand sanitiser! This is not something that leaves your hands perfumed, only free of bacteria!

A comment came to my mind of "Now you are in touch with your feminine side!" I feel confident that I was always a male - in the Eternities before mortality - and I will always be a male! I was designed and built as a male, and alll you need for confirmation of this is to check in the front my underclothes and you will see undeniable evidence! If anything, I divorced my femnine side when I got divorced. The way I see it is, you are either male or female, not both! True, you can, as a male, have a sensitive side, but not all women are sensitive! I know this from really painful experience!

As a member of the local Branch Elders Quorum Presidency, I am very aware that mankind is divided into male and female. That is in conjunction with Heavenly Fathers plans! If I were supposed to have a feminine side now, I would still be married! That does not mean that I do not have access to feminine views! I was instructed to consult a woman in Church to ensure that I did not get a gift that apeals to the Male side of the Branch - car polish or a sponge to wipe the beads of water off of a car when it is washed! THAT is a male thing! What I was inspired to look into, has a really positive view from a mother from the Church!

I was instructed by the Branch President to buy 15 "gifts" for the mothers. That should be enough numbers, given that we lately have on average 20 females in Sacrament, of which at least half are too young to be mothers - hopefully since they are not married, they are not experimenting with the whole sex thing! - and that leaves 5 extra gifts for unexpected appearances by less actives or visitors!

He SMS'd me to remind me that this Sunday is Mothers Day, and when I advised that everything was in hand, he was (and is) grateful! Even though I cannot move freely, I can still do things. I often say to people "I am disabled - not dead!"

I was given a budget for gifts, and that is not easy in a tiny village. In the ONE shop we have here, there is an example of the gift that I was inspired to buy, but that seriously exceeds the budget I have! I am going to be in a larger centre tomorrow, and can go into the Clicks outlet where I understand that the gift I was inspired to buy, is available - apparently at 75% of my budget! I only hope that they have enough in stock to get 15 bottles. That gives enough of a leeway to buy paper bows for the gift! I have drafted - readyto print - a message for each gift, saying that we males of the Church appreciate our feminine sides - the women of the Church! Without them we Elders of the Church (males) would seriously be out in the cold!

I have been invited to a celebration of a marriage. I have confirmed that I can take a "plus 1" with me, and when I asked her, she was really keen. I fail to see that she is just keen for a party, and that she wants to go with me! That is strange to me as my experience has been that I am not seen as a suitable mate! I truly believe she can see the me that existed when I was married, not the accident damaged me who exists now!

I understand that in the afterlife - and there IS an afterlife! - I will get to be without my injuries! I feel that they are only (what - "only"?) physical damage to my muuscles, and my spirit is still intact on the inside of me, and that is what drove me nuts to begin with - my undamaged spirit was creating to get ot of the prison (formerly a skinny road runner ) that holds it in mortality! I know (can sense) that when I pass on to the Etyernities (die at a respectable age!) I will have my spirit freed. I dot think that the perfect body that I was promised, will be reconstructed as damaged, only to be fixed later!

In the real world, if they build a car with problems (like they forget to put wheels on!) this is rectified before it leaves Quality Control.! They dont ship it until it looks OK! If it works that way in a world created for us "to have joy",why would there be a production line in the eternities where imperfect bodies are turned out, only to be fixed later under warranty? Either we have a perfect God (quality control) or He is open to mistakes! I know what I think.

I know questions are asked "Why does He allow things to happen that create imperfections? To that I answer, it is like a perfect car leaving the factory. I look on my injuries as a test to see how I (and others) cope with them! I need to learn something from them (empathy for stroke victims?) I feel that those with healthy bodies are kind of disadvantaged - they have to work, where I have the freedom to enjoy Heavenly Fathers creations!

In a factory, Quality Control has no control over how the car is treated once it leaves the factory! Cars collect minor damage in parking lots, where people open doors carelessly and bump, scrape or dent the car next to them! That is one of the reasons that I am happy enough to be disabled! I get to park in the Disabled Bays at the shops that are generally wider than usual, and are protected by a line of bricks from the general public! I once parked in a disabled bay and when I came out of the shop, another disabled person had parked in the same bay, next to my car!That cannot happen with my Landrovers, as they kind of fill the bay entirely!

I also have come to realise that the way we are, is a test for us, to see how we haldle it! I have to handle the change from a healthy skinny road runner, to someone who cannot run at all! My test is not only for me! Others have the opportunity to either accept my damage or to be repulsed by it! I have grown to be able to see in a persons face which camp they live in! They are either sympathetic or are completely dismissive!

My neighbor was recently struck down by a minor stroke! Now he to can no longer form properly the words he wants to say, and cannot move about so easily! I had a thought that may be part of why I am disabled, is to show people like this, that there is a recovery phase and then you are still alive and able to do things! Sure it is frustrating (nearly past endurance) but a quality life IS available IF you want to live it! Being entitled to park in the Disabled Bays at the shops, does not mean that I am useless - especially with 2 automatic 4x4 vehicles!

I LOVE the Game Reserves, and a 4x4 is better there than a usual road car! My Porsche would never have been useful in the Reserve - it would have scraped on the "middlemannetjie? on the dirt roads and you could not see over the soil - let alone the grass - along the roadside! My Landrovers are higher than the average car, so are easier to view the Game from!

I know that recently some deranged person was so insanely jealous of a high rise 4x4, that he slashed one of my tyres - whilst we were at lunch at Hilltop Camp in the Hluhluwe Reserve! I just hope for his sake he can answer for that in the Eternities! We changed the tyre, but found that the spare too had a slow leak. That took some ingenuity to get fixed, since the nearest tyre shop is about 5 hours drive away in Mtubatuba. Thank Heavens I could get it fixed, and the next day I purchased 4 new All Terrain tyres in Empangeni - SERIOUS off road tyres!