Inspiration

I am convinced that at the end of May, the orthopedic surgeon will want to insert steel pins in my heel. After this weekend, it cannot happen soon enough as the discomfort from my ankle was intense. Is this inspiration - or fear?

I really think that I saw the surgeon mid month last month and he suggested that it was a possibility that I need my bones "fused"! The ins and outs of the operation were not discussed, but I think that I was given a chance to come to terms with the idea of the bones being fused.

I look forward to no longer fearing slopes and stairs. I was not consciously aware of why i had developed this phobia.

It also turns out that it is not my only phobia:-
I get cold sweats in traffic heavier than 2 cars a DAY. Where I live, maybe 2 cars a day go past - and both of them live in my garage!

The one thing that I can see will not be so great is that I will battle to drive a "stick shift" as the foot controlling the clutch pedal will be "incapacitated!" Still since being in a coma, I have precious few items to set me apart from the crowd. I think that this is why I disliked my scars - they were not ostensibly chosen by me and in the sun, they went bright red, then faded to luminous white! Eventually I chose to have a tattoo covering them, since people query scars - "How did you get that?" - and no-one questions a tattoo! It was not even painful - or uncomfortable! I can live with a tattoo easier than scars.

Apparently this will prevent my muscles from distorting the heel. For too long I have battled with balance and heights - although I am not scared of heights - tend to raise my blood level, even on a down slope in the lawn!

Since my MVA accident - 1992 - I have been unstable on both slopes and uneven ground. I used to think this was because I sustained brain damage - to my motor skills - and only recently discovered that my instability is due to the muscles in my heel puling at different strengths. I have a medical appointment at the end of this month to see if what the surgeon feels will help and I believe that sooner or later my bones in my heel will be fused.

Latest on my foot

About a month back, my left foot swelled up and was relatively painful to walk on! I consulted my GP who referred me to an Othopeadic Surgeon in the hospital at Ballito.

This guy arranged Xrays - cost my medical aid a fortune - and assessed the problem. Turns out that your heel controls how your foot is planted when you walk. The heel is a series of stacked bones, with muscles along either side, to control how straight your foot is - as needed.

Thw muscles along the outside of my heel, are more agressive than those on the inside, and this has pushed my heel out of alignment. I have been referred to an orthotics specialist and he will be constructing orthotic inserts to my shoes so that the balance of the muscle is corrected.

I was in town the other day, on my feet for a really short time and I could feel my foot was not sitting correctly and when I got home, my foot was screaming blue murder and trying to kill me!

I have a follow up appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon at the end of the month. He will assess me for a possible operation where the bones of my heel are “fused” – my opinion is that fusing means either putting in staples, or more long term, putting in steel pins. In either case, the heel will not be able to bend sideways, but the ankle should still be able to bend. I can bend my toes upwards, but not to have my heel flexing (much) sideways.
The insert will only be a temporary “fix” – until my heel is “fused”.

The one thing that I will have to get used to is going through security detectors; I WILL set off the alarms. Someone advised me that if I go through these barriers, I need to put my left foot first, so that the security guards can see that my foot is what set off the alarms, and not imaginary hidden firearms!

I have a follow up appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon at the end of the month. He will assess me for a possible operation where the bones of my heel are “fused” – my opinion is that fusing means either putting in staples, or more long term, putting in steel pins. In either case, the heel will not be able to bend sideways, but the ankle should still be able to bend. I can bend my toes upwards, but not to have my heel flexing (much) sideways.
The insert will only be a temporary “fix” – until my heel is “fused”.

The one thing that I will have to get used to is going through security detectors; I WILL set off the alarms. Someone advised me that if I go through these barriers, I need to put my left foot first, so that the security guards can see that my foot is what set off the alarms, and not imaginary hidden firearms!

Judgment

I have a problem at my branch of the LDS Church, where one member in particular is judging me without knowing the background! She sees that because I drive 2 4x4 Landrovers, that I MUST be wealthy enough to run around and do her will. It is not so bad, except she expects me to go out of my way, and collect less active members who show no gratitude for the efforts shown to them!

They seem to believe that because they are natives, the rich Mhlungu (me) must just go out of his way to drag them kicking and screaming to Church. The way I see it is that everyone has their agency (rigt of choice) - they have agency to come to Church, and I have agency to collect them! What bugs me most is that I am expected to go out of my way to collect them, and am supposed to be grateful to thm for getting into my car!

At Church the one member glares at me because I did not arrive at Church late, just so the less affluent members could not be bothered to be ready on time!

Drives me insane that this member has judged me as affluent enough to readily waste my time, effort and money in collecting members who clearly dont wish to be at Church! That is kind of insulting to me! Try and do good, be brushed off because of it, then be judged as unchristian because I dont go all out and drag less actives to Church at gunpoint!

What gets to me most is that this member has taken upon herself the rights belonging to the branch Judge-in-Israel, despite she being ineligible.

It is not easy being a senior member, and seeing that errors are propogated.

I had a member of another branch in the District, who was joking (I hope) that because I own 4 cars, I had to give him one of them - his choice! Furthermore he said that because he could not afford a car, I was required to fill his choice of my chariots with fuel, and maintain them - when HE wanted me to! This member is a new member and it is not easy to tell him that he is sinning in at least 2 areas:-

Coveting anothers blessings AND
Judging him that he will willingly impart of his substance to the less fortunate!

I have a friend who has openly said "You only need 1 vehicle, so sell 3!" without considering that maybe I WANT 2 Landrovers. My Porsche is up for sale and my Clio has been attached by my daughter! Who is anyone to think that they have the right to judge that I only need 1 car! What is wrong that I choose to excercise my agency daily in which vehicle I want to drive?

My foot

The left foot - looking down at them - has been giving me grief lately. Apparently the muscles along one side are stronger than the other side, so I have been walking on the side of my foot! Apparently the heel is distorted by the muscles and this has caused the problem.

Xrays showed that the bone structure is sound but that the muscles are distorting my heel. The surgeon rekons that to sort out the problem, they need to fuse the bones in my heel - allowing me to raise and lower my toes, but the sideways movement will be eliminated!

As far as I am aware, this fusing of the bones will be acomplished by inserting steel rods in my heel.

Nett result is that my mere presence will set off alarms at Departures in airports and in banks. Still, if that is what it takes, then so be it!

With my tattoo, the artist is of the opinion that he needs to add some purple to the swalows wings - where they cover the scar tissue - and redo the black outline! I can get this done maybe on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on when I need to collect my orthotic inserts for my shoes! These will counteract the strange pull my muscles are having on my foot, before the surgeon gets to do his fusing act!

Writers Blog

I dont post as much as I used to, mainly because I often cannot always get a strong signal on my wireless modem. It ranges between a single bar of GPRS or 2 bars of 3G - which is a really strong signal. I live below the line of sight of our cellphone tower, but when connection to that is not easy, I pick up the tower in Port Durnford.

I know that traditionally Port Durnford is seen as in the same class as Soweto outside Johannesburg - unsafe at the best of times but suicide to visit after sunset!

I have no problem with being there, and acknowlege that it may not be safe if you drive a highly risky car - attractive to hijackers - but I hardly believe that a V8 Discovery is high risk - R 1 200 to fill the tank from empty -  or my Freelander - R 800 to fill from empty. The average hijacker is dirt poor and to fill and run a Landrover is kind of impossible for them.

I was kind of stunned recently that I was warned that if you are stopped by the traffic authorities, they check that you have a set of reflective triangles in the car! If you break down, you are supposed to put these out so that other drivers can see a warning sign just before they plough into a white car! I am just amazed that if you are rammed on the road, you are not imprisonned - or fined - if you dont make an attempt to brake the car that rams you! That is kind of an unreasonable thought, but it is apparent that most drivers tend to drive way too close behind me! I have even had 2 signs laminated for the rear windows of my Landrovers, aying "I'm not driving too slowly! It's called the speed limit!"because when I am driving the speed limit, I am by a really long way, the slowest vehicle on the road!

I have bought sets of triangles for each of my vehicles. I dont think that I will be checked, but if I am, I am in the clear! I only found out by accident because my neighbor wanted to borrow a set, and I loaned him the set from my Ventertjie - a comon make of luggage trailer.

I do want to find out if it is possible to put a rooftop tent on the trailer, since I am not easily able to put one on top of my landrovers. That would come in handy if I ever wanted to drive way off road and visit Mocambique.

My computer has just done something wierd! It located an "orphan" file (what that means is a mystery) but in cleaning up the file, it deleted the file and I have not experienced the usual problem that I have of my modem dropping the Internet connection. I hope it is a lasting "fix" and I will not suffer dropped connections again!

I have a kind of problem at the moment!
My left foot on Monay was terribly swollen and tender. The GP could not find any influencing problem so prescribed an anti inflammatory to reduce the swelling. Even though it is no longer swollen, it is still very tender. It feels like somehow I have managed to break one of the bones in my foot. I will go back on tuesday and he can assess it again, although it may require vme to drive through to Empangeniand have an Xray. I am tempted though to go to the Bay Hospital, as i feel that there they will if necessary, put it in a cast that is not made from Plaster of Paris. When I had  a cast made for my elbow, they used a type of plastic, that I could take off to bath - it is easy enough to mould one that can be taken off to bath!

The way things are

In plain old "never changes" Mtunzini, things are definitely changeing!

The doctors have relocated from the house that was the medical centre some 300 meters down the hill to where the chemist used to conduct business - the Raphia Centre. They have practiced from here for at least the last 2 decades.

The chemist had moved up the hill to a spot between the new bottle store franchise (kind of always was a bottle store owned by the people across the lane from me!) and the Spar Store. The 2 doctors in the village  were operating from their homes, and decided to start consulting from a house opposite to the centre where a restaurant has opened.

Kind of shows that things are always changeing!

Ever since we have lived in the village (way to small to be a town - thankfully!) there have been mainly houses stretched around an area from the prison (only one that I know has sea views from most cells) to the Country Club. Not so long ago, the farmer between the country club and the Umlalazi Lagoon sold off his farm to developers who cut the area up into incredibly expensive plots and a new suburb is growing up. True the multi million rand homes overlook Port Durnford (an area of low cost housing) but the draw of water frontage has drawn "big bucks!"

With this development, the strangle hold that the local Spar outlet has had on food prices is looking like it is waning fast!

I was stunned the last time I went up to the nearby Game Rerserves, to see that a hotel in Mtubatuba has been replaced by a Pick and Pay development. Like the local Spar, the traders in Mtubatuba operated along the lines of "If you want to save money on groceries, shop in Empangeni - or Richards Bay!"

Even in Empangeni the local Greek cafe owner (very rich but he dresses like a pauper!) has opened yet another new Spar store ((SuperSpar) and because he is open from 7 am till 9 pm, he charges a bomb for stuff, and gets away with it! When I first came to Empangeni, he owned a really scruffy Spar in a run down bulding. That burned down and he relocated just down the hill to a bigger building. He then built Central Park, with Spar as the key tennant, and has now built a brand new mall. He has been moving further and further down the hill towards Richards Bay.

I see that at the junction of the John Ross highway (into Richards Bay from Empangeni) and the N3 freeway down the coast, construction has started on a small factory development. The other side of the John Ross (the farm land between Empangeni and Esikhawini, has been slated to be eventually dredged and the harbour extended up to the N2 freeway! That is going to be a tremendous boost to the economy of the area.

What is new?

The local chemist has doses of the new (current) flu jab on order. They will be here tomorrow. I have had flu jabs for the last few decades (not just years!) and I have not had flu since I have been retired.

The last time I had flu I felt worse than usual, and if I ever feel sick, I feel like death warmed up! I suppose that being retired helps to keep me illness free since I dont have contact with the run of the mill sick people.

The worst I feel is generally when it is cold and where my bones were damaged when I was run down (literally) they seem to cause my muscles to ache. When it is colder than our usual 18 degrees celsius, I battle to walk and to breathe, hence to talk!

I am amazed at people who are fully able to walk and talk clearly, and all they can do is to moan about how they cannot get going in the morning, and that they dont use the health that they are blessed with. I listen to people giving their testimonies in Church, and if we had no loudspeaker system, a mouse would be more audible!

I have befriended a human who has terrible problems. He has been a drug addict since he was 16, and now wants to clean up his act. I know members who would write him off as one of the worst sinners, but having met him, I can see the good in him - much like Luke Skywalker could see the good in Darth Vader. No-one believed him, but in the end, this good showed up!

I know that many members would think of him as a bad person, purely because he was a drug addict, but he is trying hard to pull himself right - is in Rehab in a really picturesque town up past Pinetown! He booked himself into rehab and I hope that he will succeed! I sense a bit of what Jesus must feel - that although he has done things that are not right, there is good in him - worth saving!

I know that he had agency to start drugs or not, but I sympathise with him! He comes from a broken home and some of his friens he ended up with, kind of persuaded him that the ceasy way out was to become an addict!

It has to be easier to fall back on drugs than it is to face up to life, but rehab has to be one of the hardest things to face! If he has a headache now, he has to just grin and bear it as drugs of any sort (Aspirin tablets!) are not allowed. If they were, it is kind of a short step to hard drugs.

I feel that one member in particular would class me as a drug addict, since I am prescribed to take a muscle relaxant tablet every day for the rest of my life. It is either prescribed drugs or cramped up muscles! I have no choice!

If you read my former blogs, you will be very aware that I am in love - with my 2 Landrovers! I know that it is quite extravagant to drive 2 diffferent Landrovers - depending on my mood! - but I say to some people "If not then why not?" that is kind of my motto for life. I definitely love them both far more than I ever loved my wife. I feel that - steel and fibreglass as they are - they love me more than my wife ever did! Turns out that they give me far less strife than she has - divorce not-withstanding!

I have come to realise that when I was married, my cars treated me far better than she ever did! I know that when I remarry, I will not be beguiled like I was the first time round! The beauty of hindsight! I know the women who are completely unsuitable, and I hope that I have the presence of mind to steer clear of these people.

I know that one of the sisters at church seemed to think that she had a chance to be the next Mrs Killick, and started treating me much along the same lines as my ex did! I dont like to be pushed around like that, and even have a HUGE V8 auto Landy Disco that no-one pushes around on the road! If they try, all I need do is to slip it into low range and to effortlessly go over the top of them - and they seem to sense it. My Disco is far more imposing on the road than is my Freelander and even that they steer very clear of! Maybe the splashes of wild dung on the sides (makes it look kind of rugged!) gives them the impression of "Dont mess with me!"

Do I feel superior behind the wheel of my Disco? Sure I do - and why not? I make no excuses at this - I feel superior, because I AM - Go figure!

You would figure that a V8 auto - airconditioned vehicle is a gas guzzler - and bad for Global Warming, but it costs the same to run in fuel as did my 4 cylinder "stick shift" Opel Corsa. That cost me R 500 every 2 weeks to refuel, but my Disco costs R 1 200 a month to fill - even if you factor out the increase in fuel costs per litre!. Running 2 Landys, a tank of fuel in my Disco lasts me 2 months - empty to empty. I dont like to let the guage get too low as I have found that in order to fill up completely, the pump attendants have to restart the pumps. The tank holds more than the pumps are able to dispense without being reset - and it does not even have long range tanks fitted! When the tank is full, it holds more fuel in value than some cars on the road are worth!