I am convinced that at the end of May, the orthopedic surgeon will want to insert steel pins in my heel. After this weekend, it cannot happen soon enough as the discomfort from my ankle was intense. Is this inspiration - or fear?
I really think that I saw the surgeon mid month last month and he suggested that it was a possibility that I need my bones "fused"! The ins and outs of the operation were not discussed, but I think that I was given a chance to come to terms with the idea of the bones being fused.
I look forward to no longer fearing slopes and stairs. I was not consciously aware of why i had developed this phobia.
It also turns out that it is not my only phobia:-
I get cold sweats in traffic heavier than 2 cars a DAY. Where I live, maybe 2 cars a day go past - and both of them live in my garage!
The one thing that I can see will not be so great is that I will battle to drive a "stick shift" as the foot controlling the clutch pedal will be "incapacitated!" Still since being in a coma, I have precious few items to set me apart from the crowd. I think that this is why I disliked my scars - they were not ostensibly chosen by me and in the sun, they went bright red, then faded to luminous white! Eventually I chose to have a tattoo covering them, since people query scars - "How did you get that?" - and no-one questions a tattoo! It was not even painful - or uncomfortable! I can live with a tattoo easier than scars.
I look forward to no longer fearing slopes and stairs. I was not consciously aware of why i had developed this phobia.
It also turns out that it is not my only phobia:-
I get cold sweats in traffic heavier than 2 cars a DAY. Where I live, maybe 2 cars a day go past - and both of them live in my garage!
The one thing that I can see will not be so great is that I will battle to drive a "stick shift" as the foot controlling the clutch pedal will be "incapacitated!" Still since being in a coma, I have precious few items to set me apart from the crowd. I think that this is why I disliked my scars - they were not ostensibly chosen by me and in the sun, they went bright red, then faded to luminous white! Eventually I chose to have a tattoo covering them, since people query scars - "How did you get that?" - and no-one questions a tattoo! It was not even painful - or uncomfortable! I can live with a tattoo easier than scars.
Apparently this will prevent my muscles from distorting the heel. For too long I have battled with balance and heights - although I am not scared of heights - tend to raise my blood level, even on a down slope in the lawn!
Since my MVA accident - 1992 - I have been unstable on both slopes and uneven ground. I used to think this was because I sustained brain damage - to my motor skills - and only recently discovered that my instability is due to the muscles in my heel puling at different strengths. I have a medical appointment at the end of this month to see if what the surgeon feels will help and I believe that sooner or later my bones in my heel will be fused.
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