Inspiration

I am convinced that at the end of May, the orthopedic surgeon will want to insert steel pins in my heel. After this weekend, it cannot happen soon enough as the discomfort from my ankle was intense. Is this inspiration - or fear?

I really think that I saw the surgeon mid month last month and he suggested that it was a possibility that I need my bones "fused"! The ins and outs of the operation were not discussed, but I think that I was given a chance to come to terms with the idea of the bones being fused.

I look forward to no longer fearing slopes and stairs. I was not consciously aware of why i had developed this phobia.

It also turns out that it is not my only phobia:-
I get cold sweats in traffic heavier than 2 cars a DAY. Where I live, maybe 2 cars a day go past - and both of them live in my garage!

The one thing that I can see will not be so great is that I will battle to drive a "stick shift" as the foot controlling the clutch pedal will be "incapacitated!" Still since being in a coma, I have precious few items to set me apart from the crowd. I think that this is why I disliked my scars - they were not ostensibly chosen by me and in the sun, they went bright red, then faded to luminous white! Eventually I chose to have a tattoo covering them, since people query scars - "How did you get that?" - and no-one questions a tattoo! It was not even painful - or uncomfortable! I can live with a tattoo easier than scars.

Apparently this will prevent my muscles from distorting the heel. For too long I have battled with balance and heights - although I am not scared of heights - tend to raise my blood level, even on a down slope in the lawn!

Since my MVA accident - 1992 - I have been unstable on both slopes and uneven ground. I used to think this was because I sustained brain damage - to my motor skills - and only recently discovered that my instability is due to the muscles in my heel puling at different strengths. I have a medical appointment at the end of this month to see if what the surgeon feels will help and I believe that sooner or later my bones in my heel will be fused.

Latest on my foot

About a month back, my left foot swelled up and was relatively painful to walk on! I consulted my GP who referred me to an Othopeadic Surgeon in the hospital at Ballito.

This guy arranged Xrays - cost my medical aid a fortune - and assessed the problem. Turns out that your heel controls how your foot is planted when you walk. The heel is a series of stacked bones, with muscles along either side, to control how straight your foot is - as needed.

Thw muscles along the outside of my heel, are more agressive than those on the inside, and this has pushed my heel out of alignment. I have been referred to an orthotics specialist and he will be constructing orthotic inserts to my shoes so that the balance of the muscle is corrected.

I was in town the other day, on my feet for a really short time and I could feel my foot was not sitting correctly and when I got home, my foot was screaming blue murder and trying to kill me!

I have a follow up appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon at the end of the month. He will assess me for a possible operation where the bones of my heel are “fused” – my opinion is that fusing means either putting in staples, or more long term, putting in steel pins. In either case, the heel will not be able to bend sideways, but the ankle should still be able to bend. I can bend my toes upwards, but not to have my heel flexing (much) sideways.
The insert will only be a temporary “fix” – until my heel is “fused”.

The one thing that I will have to get used to is going through security detectors; I WILL set off the alarms. Someone advised me that if I go through these barriers, I need to put my left foot first, so that the security guards can see that my foot is what set off the alarms, and not imaginary hidden firearms!

I have a follow up appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon at the end of the month. He will assess me for a possible operation where the bones of my heel are “fused” – my opinion is that fusing means either putting in staples, or more long term, putting in steel pins. In either case, the heel will not be able to bend sideways, but the ankle should still be able to bend. I can bend my toes upwards, but not to have my heel flexing (much) sideways.
The insert will only be a temporary “fix” – until my heel is “fused”.

The one thing that I will have to get used to is going through security detectors; I WILL set off the alarms. Someone advised me that if I go through these barriers, I need to put my left foot first, so that the security guards can see that my foot is what set off the alarms, and not imaginary hidden firearms!